Feb 2, 2019
When I first met Taylor I knew my life was over. You don’t want it to happen at 19. “It’s not my time, I’m still a young, handsome guy with so much more bachelor life to live,” but that’s just your ego talking, and destiny doesn’t give a fuck about your ego. Destiny just put the love of your life in front of you. Destiny just raised your heartbeat by about 10% and destiny is getting you to fantasize about what your life is going to look like years from now, with this person in it.
Love at first sight is one of those cliche things that no one really believes in until it happens. It’s something no amount of similar interests on eHarmony or Tinder can create. Something no amount of alcohol can fabricate, and something no one will ever be ready for. Now, if you’ve felt this way before and it didn’t work out, or if you’ve felt this way ten times and it has never worked out that is fine. The notion of “the one” is ridiculous. There is never going to be the person that enters your life and fixes you because you aren’t broken. You will never find someone to “complete” you because you are already a whole person and as a whole person you can change, and adjust your values on your own, sometimes at the cost of leaving certain loves that felt like this behind. There could be several people that will fill this role for you, I have found mine in my fiance, best friend, and when I need it, harsh truth teller.
Taylor had no business wanting anything to do with me. Smug, egotistical, a budding alcoholic and tortured musician in training. All traits that I have since been told she finds deplorable, yet for some reason she saw some potential behind that mountain of insecurities masked with cheap wine and craft beer. After several months (far too long, someone as magnificent as this shouldn’t be kept waiting) of me giving Taylor the run around, we finally grabbed both hands and trust fell into this relationship together. We’ve had our ups and downs (mostly orchestrated by yours truly) but the one thing that has kept us going through every fight or bought of hanger (hunger + anger = HANGER) is the continued growth of our relationship. See this “head over heels” love isn’t something we are trying to maintain, we aren’t SIMS that need to keep the meters in the green at all times. No, this love is something we are falling into every single day. Every time I get up, stressed about bills, my legacy, or any type of neurotic existentialism that plagues my morning I remember to make her a coffee. Every time Taylor gets up to get a drink, she gets me one too. Every night, before bed, I remind her to brush her teeth, and every 2 days she reminds me to take a shower. We have our moments of storybook romance. Candle lit dinner, late night discussions about shit that really doesn’t matter, and saying “I love you” without even speaking. The true magic of our relationship, however, is found in subtle intricacies, and being able to see in each other the best that we can be.
Unconditional love is something reserved for parents and favourite albums, but if I was to ever argue against that point I would just need to map out the continued growth of my life with this incredible woman, and I’m sure I would have even the most stubborn, post-breakup, jury member swayed.